The Montreal Review, August, 2010
I have this plan to get away, to drive through the waking dawn, windows rolled down, music flowing like the wind. Drive to the end where sand meets water. Sit back toes curled under cool sand, waves rhythmically crashing against the shore. Just as the warm sun lights up the sky, I shall draw in a new breath and let the morning dawns light shine through me. This can be my fresh start, this can be my new beginning. Like the sun I can rise and start new, any and everyday.
LIFE AMONGST CHILDREN
I was hoping to be mature by seventeen.
Without the burdens of adolescence.
And ridiculous arguments between best friends.
All the others to stoned to understand.
The kids stank of cigarettes and cheap beer.
I sat in a cloudy daze and watched the melodrama like it was my favorite soap opera.
I never said much, I was like a silent cat in the corner.
Taking slow steady breaths,
Staring from the old beat up chair,
I saw my friends potentially picture perfect lives unraveling.
There people knew me better then I knew myself,
The years flew by like seconds on a clock and just like that my teen years were over
And i was surrounded by children.
When you came into my life I was angry.
For all those years I was the center of their lives.
Like their little princess, pampered and dazzled with fine jewels and toys.
Suddenly thrown aside like an unwanted toy to the back of the toy chest.
You were their new prize,
Like a doll with skin soft as silk and deep innocent eyes.
You were the atomic bomb that destroyed my world.
The love and smiles we all shared disappeared
Like the family portraits from our walls.
Once a happy home,
Now nothing but a shattered mirror that can't be glued back together.
You are the bat that broke us.
I hide myself away to escape the war zone
Which is always caused by you.
Away in that dark room where the yelling and fighting are muffled sounds
Against the hardcore screams I call music.
They seem to forget that there are two and I will always put the blame on you.
You are the devil who set fire to my world
And now in ashes I sit.